Fears are growing over the mental state of Donald Trump following an extraordinary claim he made earlier. During a nationwide address, and as another claque of his boot-licking sycophants looked on in stunned silence, Trump claimed he created the Universe. Speaking from the Oval Office he said: 'You know the Universe is my baby. Yes it is. I was just sitting there in my void of nothingness one day when I got the idea. And what a great idea it turned out to be, too. One of the

All social media users everywhere have agreed never to believe anything posted from now on. NewsBiscuit is unaffected.

During a break in filming their Platinum Jubilee sketch, the Queen was overheard asking Paddington Bear to form a new government of national unity or ‘marmalade coalition’. A spokesbear roared ‘We’re getting Brexit pursued by a bear done. In terms of candidates for the top jobs, we’ve got Winnie the Pooh and Bungle from Rainbow coming in. Paddington was considering Rupert the Bear too, but in common with many Ruperts, he’s a right little Tory. Our policies will include hourly

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Ed Davey has announced a 100-night residency at the London Palladium on the back of Davey's barnstorming PMQ's performance this week, where he delivered a zinger of a gag.

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WINNER "Smile, honey! I found something more barren than you!" agstilp RUNNERS UP Hairy knees and bad breath, but very useful in the desert - as are the camels sirlupus Well, that's quite a cameltoe! lockjaw And then I told Harry after the meal I fancied a nice dessert robfalconer

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This is the best ceasefire deal we could get for our darling child, Israel,' said US Secretary of State Marco Rubiks-Cube.

It was an average morning for a group of multicultural college students, who were enjoying the June sunshine on their leafy campus. 'It was all so normal,' Sanjay tells us. 'Hua, Kwame, Diego, Amelia (she's gay,) and I were preparing for our upcoming exams when we heard rustling from the bushes.' They were greeted with the cold, invasive eye of a long-lens camera. The college photographer, 46-year-old Oliver Brown, has been tasked with designing glossy brochures for the unive

'Starmer is playing with fire listening to Sarah Connor. She is clearly delusional' said Blair in a 6000 word essay.