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Jeremy Vine refusing to leave ‘virtual’ election studio

'Battlegrounds? Real life is a battleground my friend!'Presenter and broadcaster Jeremy Vine has reportedly refused to vacate the BBC’s ‘virtual set’, days after election coverage had officially ended. The BBC confirmed the Panorama presenter has ‘gone rogue’.

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Eddie Izzard wins bid to play Nicola Sturgeon in SNP biopic

the perfect man-woman-socialist-third-way guy-girl-dude for the role‘Once you see Izzard in costume for the role, you’re hit by how the similarities are staggering,’ said friend and agent Jim Murphy.

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Cameron slaughters shadow cabinet after watching Game of Thrones

thine shall be mine...The election took an unexpected turn today, when the entire shadow cabinet was butchered after visiting Number 10 for ‘a chat over tea and cakes’.

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Man avoids Game of Thrones spoilers by masquerading as PM

as close as you can get to the real thing‘I had reservations at first; I don’t know much about keeping the interest rate from dipping below inflation, but weirdly it doesn’t seem to matter. If someone asks me a question I just say ‘a fair deal for honest, hard-working Britons’ or ‘I have complete faith in Mr Osborne’ and they seem satisfied with that.’

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Dick Dastardly in ‘despicable negotiations’ to present Top Gear

Twat, and Double Twat!Health and safety-flouting novelty rally driver Dick Dastardly is said to be locked in ‘despicable, underhand negotiations’ with BBC executives, for the post of chief host of flagship motoring show Top Gear, recently vacated by Jeremy Clarkson.

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