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Error-strewn tea round declared ‘completely indefensible’

In tense and confrontational scenes today at an engineering business in Runcorn, 22 year-old graduate Ben Parker was found guilty of 4 significant errors in preparing a 7-person tea round.

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Delusional husband ‘thought he could criticise in-laws’

could take years to get over it34 year-old Colin Parker was surprised to discover that his wife, Lucy Parker, could condemn her parents with impunity, but that he should restrain from making any derogatory remark. Following a 13-minute rant in which Lucy berated her Mum’s nagging about future grandchildren and her Dad’s problem with whiskey, his insightful comments to support those complaints were regarded as sheer wanton abuse.

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‘Glorious 26th’ to mark start of first video camera drone shooting season

shot as they emerge from their nesting grounds at the bottom of Christmas treesCountry sports enthusiasts are gearing themselves up for the Glorious 26 December, the official start of the Drone Shooting season.

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Festive Jumpers: Are they the new black?‏

lighten up... it's Christmas!What’s snuggly, fun and covered in Santas? Of course, the answer is Stripper Elves; but to some it is festive jumpers. Up and down the country, designers ask the same question – is Christmas-themed knitwear what’s hot? To which the answer is no. Simply, no. No, no, noety no. No. For the love of God, no! Yet Britain’s retailers interpret this as a resounding ‘maybe’; with every garment now coming with an obligatory chestnut being spit-roasted by an open fire.

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Parental advice awarded heritage status

'Don't say you weren't warned'Dubious claims by parents are to be preserved for the nation before they disappear completely, the Heritage Minister announced today.

‘Surely nobody really believes you’ll catch an airborne virus by leaving the house with wet hair,’ pointed out the minister, ‘or that masturbating turns you blind,’ he added in an interview for Mumsnet. ‘But it’s clear that British parenting myths have been proven to be the first demonstrable memes in any modern language and as such should be protected in law.’

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