America’s smoking community is tonight trying to come to terms with the death of William ‘Billy’ Dark, widely believed to be the last man in the USA capable of making smoking appear cool, attractive and generally badass.
Retired bank robbers who come out of retirement for one last job run an incredibly high risk of complications, says Crime Scene, the trade magazine for professional law breakers, blaggers and briefs, which studied this increasingly popular trend.
According to its survey of 1000 criminals who’d been tempted back to do one more heist, almost all of them ran into dramatic complications which they hadn’t envisaged. Amazingly, in practically every case, the bank robber gets away without being caught but things are never the same again. Often their whole outlook on life is changed, and they realise something about themselves, and their relationship with their friends, that they didn’t know before.
Environmentalists are celebrating the success of an experiment to tap into the vast heat resources of menopausal women as an alternative to fossil fuels. Researchers now believe that the irregularities in middle-aged women’s body temperatures could present a powerful and renewable source of energy.
Howard Phillips, founder of the Little Horrors Support Group, says the plight of those raising uncanny offspring has been ignored for to too long and that the time has come for the monster to be kicked out of the closet.