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Facebook set to launch Babybook for hubristic parents

In an attempt to stop the increasing number of users leaving the social network due to being continually bombarded with baby pictures and the related updates, Facebook is to launch an offshoot called Babybook.

The social network is receiving a large volume of complaints regarding friends or casual acquaintances constantly posting pictures with captions such as ‘Baby’s first shit’ or ‘Me at 4 cm dilated, you can almost see the head!!’. In protest at this infantile inundation, many users are returning to Myspace and other social networks they can’t quite remember.

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‘Meat must be prepared away from salad and impaled on a large rotating spike’, demand men

still waiting for Michelin starsPub-going men up and down the country have stated clearly today that meat is only acceptable to eat if it’s basted in thick orangey grease, impaled on a large rotating metal spike, and is of ‘questionable origin’.

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Many to use May Day bank holiday to ponder utter futility of existence

An increasing number of Britons are set to shun more traditional bank holiday pursuits this Monday in favour of contemplating the sheer pointlessness of their being, a study has revealed.

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Barista spontaneously turns American

"And can I write your name on this cardboard cup...?"A man working as a ‘barista’ at a branch of Starbucks in Huddersfield has become the first European to spontaneously turn into an American.

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Self-fellatio injury blamed on the Lynx Effect

overstretchedA 38-year-old Kent man is recovering in hospital today after dislocating his spine in an incident which he claims was caused by the ‘Lynx Effect’.

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