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The news before it happens…

SportBiscuit

Fallen hero Beckham to fly into Wootton Bassett for public tribute

England career being laid to rest: other really bad news being quietly buried elsewhereDavid Beckham will be driven through the streets of the Wiltshire town this afternoon in what is expected to be an outpouring of public grief after his tragic achilles tendon injury ruled him out of the World Cup. Thousands are expected to line the route in appreciation of all he’s done for his country.

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Hull City to use suicide strikers against big clubs

it's war!Phil Brown, manager of struggling Hull City, is considering using suicide strikers in the club’s forthcoming fixture at home to Arsenal. ‘We beat them last season,’ said Brown, ‘but to be honest we were lucky. They say they’re tired from too many matches, but they could field their reserve side and still beat us.’

‘We’ve got lads who would die for Hull City,’ said Brown. ‘So I propose to take advantage of that loyalty. The first time we get a free kick within striking range, we put one of the lads in their defensive wall, and ‘kaboom!’

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Amy Williams honoured with royal ‘Would’

Absolutely!Winter Olympic gold medallist, Amy Williams, is to receive the first of what’s expected to be many honours, after Prince Harry awarded the shapely Bob Skeleton rider a royal ‘would’ this morning.

As a consequence of being the only Briton to medal at the Vancouver games last month, the 27-year-old from Bath has been widely tipped as a shoo-in for a Damehood in June, when the Queen’s Birthday Honours List is announced. Some have even predicted that Miss Williams will lift the much coveted BBC Sports Personality of the Year for 2010. However, Prince Harry’s bestowal of the royal ‘would’ has come as a complete surprise to most pundits, primarily because the honour didn’t actually exist until today. The closest award on record is when swimming star Rebecca Adlington was awarded a Royal ‘Wouldn’t’.

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Billions pour in for inaugural world money-throwing championships

competition inspiring worldwide rivalryThe world’s first money-throwing championships, announced only last month, have already attracted a huge number of entrants, each paying a large non-refundable entry fee.

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The Who’s comeback concert marred by violence in stadium

violence described as 'sporadic, pointless and quite entertaining'Ageing British rockers The Who played a thrilling comeback concert in front of a packed house at Miami’s Sun Life Stadium on Sunday, but what should have been a peaceful performance by some harmless old men was marred by extreme violence before and after the event.

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