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Man inspired by Grand National whips cats around obstacle course
Subsequently, the man killed three of the cats that were very badly injured by the many dangerous obstacles that he had put in their way. [read...]
SportBiscuit
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Rugby player realises bizarre sideways run-up to kick ball is a stupid idea
A rugby player who always takes the spot kicks for his team has realised that his recent poor form may due to the bizarre run-up he employs. [read...]
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Backstop provision to merge with offside rule
In an attempt to clarify international football and post Brexit EU regulations, the Northern Ireland backstop provision is to merge with Association Football’s offside rule, unless Her Majesty’s Government passes a contrary amendment, or the ball is passed illegally across any European Border or the half way line during play. [read...]
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Kim Sears’ Scottishness training coming along ‘very f**king nicely’
Kim Sears attempts to become more Scottish ahead of her marriage to Andy Murray appear to be well on track. Following her expletive-laden attack on Thomas Berdych in the Australian Open semi-final Murray told press that Kim is taking in lessons in swearing and invective in order to make their wedding day a truly authentic Scottish occasion. [read...]
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Premiership Manager fired after losing the dressing room
A Premiership football manager has been fired after media reports revealed that he had lost the dressing room. The club chairman told reporters: ‘The run of terrible results was bad enough. Eight defeats on the spin already had him skating on thin ice but after losing the dressing room, [read...]