Sir Bradley Wiggins will set monetary policy and assume responsibility for managing and protecting Great Britain’s reserves of gold, it was announced today. The move comes after the cyclist’s medal success at Rio 2016, which has meant that his stocks of gold now exceed those of the Bank of England. [read...]
British swimmer Ben Green from Leicester has won Bronze in the men’s 50 metre freestyle despite not having to overcome huge adversity to achieve his dream of winning an Olympic medal.
Speaking at a press conference the 21-year-old left reporters dumbfounded when he announced that both of his parents were in the rudest of health and that he himself had never once been at death’s door as a child. [read...]
Reports of chaotic scenes at the Olympic Games have emerged after a working class man breached security and entered the Equestrian Centre undetected. Eye-witness accounts say the man was dressed in an England football strip and Bermuda shorts and shouted ‘God ‘elp us’ before asking where the bar was. [read...]
Sky Sports launched its August programming today, promising unrivalled levels of avoiding mentioning anything remotely connected to athletics, swimming, or the 39 other sports being contested at the Rio Olympics over the next three weeks. [read...]
Hot on the heels of the Russian doping scandal, the English FA have finally confessed to using performance inhibiters on the national side. In an admission confirming what the majority of England fans have long suspected, [read...]