Andy Burnham resigned in 2017 as MP for Leigh, a constituency of 77,000, in order to be elected as Mayor of Manchester.  His reasons were a) that he hated being an opposition MP where he couldn’t do anything b) I’m bigger than this, and c) the constituency was going to be abolished, which it duly was, in 2024.  Good call, Andy. Andy was elected Mayor of Manchester in 2017, and re-elected in 2021, and elected for a third time in May 2024, shortly before the General Election th

Sue Gray will report that Boris Johnson is a “lightweight” who “can’t handle his drink”, a leaked extract from her highly anticipated...

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Following the gunning-down of Alex Pretti, an ICU nurse, in Minneapolis ICE has expressed ‘deep regret’ that he was ‘only’ a nurse. ‘Obviously we want to kill really nice people’, a spokesman said. ‘If we just kill criminals or, I dunno, blacks, it won’t have the same shock value. We really want to see some paediatric oncologists protesting, or maybe a Catholic nun? A nun might do it’. In the hierarchy of ‘audience members stand-up comedians are most wary of’, paediatric onco

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French armed forces, aided by the Royal Navy, have captured the snake oil tanker Board of Peace while it was sinking in the mid-Atlantic. "The Board of Peace had been sailing under a false flag," explained Jacques Croissant, captain of the frigate Grenouille "It had been registered by the US president as an organisation to rebuild Gaza but was secretly designed to replace the United Nations. "Monsieur Trump had managed to sign up the leaders of the world's most vile dictators

Amid reports that up to 30 members of staff, interior decorators and family members met indoors to celebrate Boris Johnson's birthday...

Following similar incidents in New Zealand, where MPs of Māori heritage have initiated the Haka in that country’s parliament in protest at proposed legislation, cockney MP Steve Geezer has asserted his right to perform the Lambeth walk in the House of Commons. Geezer, who represents the constituency of Barking and Shithole, said that to deny him this right would show a lack of respect for the traditions and customs of cockneys. The Speaker of the House, whilst pointing out th

Another day and another mind bogglingly extraordinary claim as Donald Trump tells the world he was snubbed at yesterdays leaders' meeting in Switzerland. Speaking to reporters he said, 'I travelled all the way from the US to meet this Davros guy. I wanted do a deal with him to end the longstanding war between the Dalek Empire and Earth as my ninth great success. You know, I've ended eight wars already. They said, Mister Trump. No, no. no. It can't be done. But I did it. All e

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