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ChrisF
- 6 days ago
- 1 min
Mick Lynch to join Marvel Cinematic Universe
Mick Lynch, General Secretary of the RMT union is to join the Marvel Cinematic Universe, studio bosses announced today. After...
1340

NewsBiscuit
- 6 days ago
- 1 min
Terrorist radicalized by London housing market
Said the Jihadist Renter: 'Everyday hate preachers talk about the average house price being half a million pounds. Whereas a two bedroom...
470

Walter Eagle
- 6 days ago
- 1 min
NHS surgeon fails to remove malignant tumour from Downing St
An NHS spokesman admitted today that treatment to remove an unsightly and embarrassing growth in Downing Street had been unsuccessful....
7060

StanleyMizaru
- 7 days ago
- 1 min
Not for the government to ‘do its job’, says Shapps
After being asked to step in and actually help the British public by intervening in the rail strikes negotiations, transport secretary...
950



Steveb
- 7 days ago
- 1 min
Times newspaper cancels itself
In a move widely acknowledged as the silliest thing since Jacob Rees-Mogg tried to get all metric units arrested for being gay, The Times...
2510

NewsBiscuit
- Jun 20
- 1 min
Increase in rail fares to pay for improved 'buffet creeps'
Ministers argued that under a nationalised system, Britain's unwanted weirdos fell into a state of disrepair. While others say that the...
500

stewartbarclay
- Jun 20
- 1 min
No way to predict passenger numbers say airlines who sold tickets
A spokesman for the airline industry lit a cigar with a £50 note before stubbing it out in the eye of a small child whose summer holiday...
1350

Sarah Tipper
- Jun 20
- 1 min
Modern Thermometers Annoyed That Journalists Still Say They Contain Mercury
Modern thermometers across Britain are annoyed by the many inaccurate references by journalists to their mercury rising in hot weather....
810

Kit Caboodle
- Jun 20
- 1 min
New BBC Adaptation of Pride and Prejudice Has Some Glaring Continuity Errors
Winner: Paul L Runners-Up: "Good morning. Welcome to the technoclaustrophobic trauma hotline. How may I help you?" (SteveB); "Jacob Rees...
3028



Steveb
- Jun 20
- 2 min
Government to set fire to immigrants as best deterrent to people smugglers who've already been paid
Following the complete collapse of the rendition to Rwanda wheeze, the cleverest people in the land who really know what they are doing...
2040

NewsBiscuit
- Jun 19
- 1 min
1 in 3 prisoners 70's DJs or NewsCorp journalists
One guard noted the tension: 'The Journos spend their time luring the radio presenters with images of topless teenagers, then putting...
460

Walter Eagle
- Jun 19
- 1 min
Microsoft Clippy returns as Prime Ministerial adviser
A Downing Street spokesman has confirmed that Clippy will immediately be on board as part of the Prime Ministerial guidance team. Clippy...
1520