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UK-Biscuit

Morph under fire for stream of racist expletives

why didn't anyone stop him years ago?Claymation character Morph, popularised by the children’s TV art show Take Hart, was today embroiled in a row over racism on the BBC. Though his words are commonly thought of as unintelligible babble, many are now accusing him of spewing an unbroken stream of racist expletives from the 1970s to the present.

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Men demand multiple orgasms in exchange for equitable pay

men 'prepared to go on strike' over this, although not being taken seriouslyAs one of the key electoral issues of the Scottish independence debate emerges, men have said they are willing to concede ground on equal pay provided they are compensated from areas of female monopoly such as extended life-spans, wardrobe space and ‘knee trembling duration’.

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Fit-For-Work tests to be conducted by killer robot

you have 10 seconds to comply with this orderFollowing the departure of Atos, the Department for Work and Pensions has awarded the contract for conducting Work Capability Assessments to ‘Benefits Enforcement Droid’ model IDS-209.

The droid, manufactured by Omni Consumer Products, was originally intended for law enforcement and is armed with three auto cannons, one auto shotgun and a rocket launcher.

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Cornwall ‘real’, apparently

it's alive, alive, alive-a-live-o!Much to the surprise of cartographers, scientists and pasty lovers, the EU has confirmed that the ‘bit that stops Devon getting too wet’ is not just a fairy story told to children to warn about the perils of a dairy-fat diet.

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British Transport Police given ‘stop and spray’ powers of deodorisation

police finally doing something popularUnder newly granted powers of deodorisation, Chief Constable Andrew Trotter has announced, British Transport Police officers will be equipped with industrial strength deodorant and empowered to ‘stop and spray’ malodorous passengers across the country’s rail network.

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