Claymation character Morph, popularised by the children’s TV art show Take Hart, was today embroiled in a row over racism on the BBC. Though his words are commonly thought of as unintelligible babble, many are now accusing him of spewing an unbroken stream of racist expletives from the 1970s to the present.
As one of the key electoral issues of the Scottish independence debate emerges, men have said they are willing to concede ground on equal pay provided they are compensated from areas of female monopoly such as extended life-spans, wardrobe space and ‘knee trembling duration’.
The droid, manufactured by Omni Consumer Products, was originally intended for law enforcement and is armed with three auto cannons, one auto shotgun and a rocket launcher.
Much to the surprise of cartographers, scientists and pasty lovers, the EU has confirmed that the ‘bit that stops Devon getting too wet’ is not just a fairy story told to children to warn about the perils of a dairy-fat diet.
Under newly granted powers of deodorisation, Chief Constable Andrew Trotter has announced, British Transport Police officers will be equipped with industrial strength deodorant and empowered to ‘stop and spray’ malodorous passengers across the country’s rail network.