Common sense to be compulsory again from today

The UK government has announced that common sense will once again become compulsory this week.

“Once again, the general public will be legally required to use common sense and common decency,” a spokesperson for the prime minister said. “We are putting these measures in place now, so that at Christmas people can act as though their actions have no consequences or impact on others again.”

The steps come into effect troday, having allowed people time to make a carefree visit to Peppa Pig World beforehand, they added.

Exemptions will apply for those that have never been able to show any sign of common sense or common decency – such as government ministers.

image from pixabay

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Terrorist organisation not claiming responsibility for any of its attacks on the UK

An unnamed terrorist group has been operating within the UK for some time, conducting a series of heinous and despicable attacks on the British public. Police and security services are reluctant to name the organisation for fear of further severe recriminations against them.

It is believed that the current leader of the group spent many years operating in a London-based cell before campaigns of death and destruction were moved up to a national level. The terrorist organisation has an unfathomably large number of members and backers and is very well funded by wealthy donors, many based in Britain.

The public have been warned that no part of the UK is safe, and that almost every individual and organisation operating in the UK has suffered personal and material losses. It is understood that the terrorist organisation is responsible for the deaths of more than 150,000 people, many in circumstances too sickening to describe.

If you suspect you have been targeted, it has been suggested that there is nothing you or anyone else can do about it. All of the institutions which would normally seek to investigate these numerous and widespread terrorist crimes and act against them have been deliberately undermined to a point of impotence.

Anyone with any information has been urged not to come forward, keep their mouth shut, and pretend like it isn't happening.

photo: https://pixabay.com/users/thedigitalway-3008341/

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