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Burglary victim told to be reasonable about it


A burglary victim was today told by the police to be more reasonable in his demands for the return of his property.


Mr Zelensky of Europe E17 was initially hopeful of getting his stuff back, when the police told him they knew exactly who had taken it and where he lives.


However, after lengthy discussions with the burglar, they later told the victim he shouldn’t be so unreasonable and absolutist in his demands for restitution.


'Alright, so, in an ideal world Mr Putain wouldn’t have taken your things,' they said. 'But we can’t be obsessing over the past like that. We have to look at the situation going forward and find a solution all parties are comfortable with.


”We’ve put to Mr Zelensky a proposal that Mr Putain, whilst keeping everything he’s already taken, won’t take any more. But I’m sorry to say he’s being quite inflexible about this, which really isn’t helpful.'


However, the negotiations were rendered moot by the news that Mr Putain had not only taken more, he’d also moved into Mr Zelensky’s house and changed the locks, a move the police described as 'perfectly reasonable, given he now has so many of Mr Zelensky’s possessions and obviously needs somewhere to keep them.'


Picture credit: Wix AI




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