top of page
Writer's pictureJames_doc

Center Parcs will now accept Scottish money when fleecing customers



Recreators of Logan's Run Center Parcs have announced a new initiative alongside the planning of their first Scottish Resort. Banknotes issued by Clydesdale Bank will be accepted when they attempt to extract every last penny from your accounts during your stay.


"It's a great day for Center Parcs," said head of revenue generation Iain Sharke. "We already have many guests from Scotland come to our villages in England and it pains us to turn away their stacks of money purely because they look like they were created on Photoshop. With initial work underway for our resort in Hawick, we're pleased to accept their monopoly money alongside all major credit and debit cards, cryptocurrency, gemstones, and your grandmother's gold fillings."


In the Scottish Borders, locals were delighted at the prospect of a mixture of the Eden Project and a Gulag on their doorsteps. "I'm all for it," one business owner remarked, "People staying there will be so shocked at the 100% mark-up in the resort that we can increase our prices by 50%, undercutting them and still making an obscene profit. Now, if you don't have any more questions, unless you buy something, I'm going to have to charge you a fiver as a table charge."



bottom of page