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Civil service 'seriously considered' telling Queen that bears defecate in woods

Senior civil servants 'seriously considered' telling the Queen that bears sh*t in the woods and that the Pope is a Catholic, according to the BBC's Laura Kuennsberg.

Furthermore, says Kuennsberg, they seriously considered telling her that Boris Johnson was behaving in office like a gallivanting elephant out of its head on amphetimines.

'There would have been no other way for Her Majesty to have known how disgracefully irresponsible and chaotic her prime minister was,' continued Kuennsberg.

'Apart from by opening a newspaper, watching the telly, listening to the radio or speaking to any other human being in Britain during the time that Boris was in Downing Street.

'Or by meeting him, I suppose,' added Kuennsberg.

'Two minutes in Johnson's company would have told her everything about this reckless, blundering oaf that she'd ever have needed to know.'


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