David Attenborough reaches 100 by using fresh gorilla glands

The well-preserved centenarian puts his longevity down to feasting on and injecting exotic animals. His spokeswoman admitted, 'David has been fortunate to visit many endangered species, while having access to some of the best seasoning the BBC can pay for.'

Who can forget his shows— Planet à la Carte, Life on a Plate or The Living Pantry. In the Blue Planet he explored today’s catch at a very reasonable price, with a side order of The Private Life of Prawns. And in Frozen Planet he explored a harsh, icy environment where leftovers struggle to survive—asking the question, are they suitable for microwave reheating?

'The reason he has been so articulate in preserving these elusive creatures, is that Sir David does not want to disrupt his meal planning.'

Image: Wix AI