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Energy crisis solved by rubbing the nation's batteries

Energy providers insisted the same principle could be used with lumps of coal or uranium: 'The UK will get a whole extra five minutes of free energy, if we all just fiddled with our TV remote.

'There are all kinds of life hacks that could help this winter. Try eating your turkey raw or using your xmas lights as an alternate heat source.

'And try clapping for the NHS, that'll keep you warm.'


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