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Exclusive: Johnson tells the truth

Updated: Sep 26, 2023

In a staggering exclusive, we can reveal reports are circulating that feckless oddball and utter buffoon, Boris Johnson, has told the truth in what's believed to be the first time ever.

Details are sketchy but apparently the former PM (nope, me neither) was asked by a rough sleeper in The Strand, "Here, you're that Boris Johnson, aint'cha, mate?'

At first the charge was vehemently denied and it was only when the down and out offered to buy him a coffee at a nearby Starbuck's, Johnson replied, 'Coffee, eh? Spiffing. Actually, I've had no brekker and I'm famished. Fwuff fiffle foo-yee-ah. Tell you what, I'll have a Pumpkin Spice Latte with three Pain au Chocolat. And yes, well spotted, I'm Boris Johnson.'

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