Government denies that it's one rule for them and another rule for everyone else


The government has categorically denied that it’s one rule for them and another rule for everyone else.


'On the contrary,' said a spokesperson today, 'It’s one rule for us and literally millions of rules for everyone else. Definitely way more than one.'


According to government insiders, the one rule for them is:


'Do what you like and don’t get caught.'


Ministers agree that this is a simple, easy to follow, rule. It cuts down on internal bureaucracy, lets government get on with its business and, indeed, pleasure, unsupervised.


The myriad of rules for us include:


‘No sneezing without a hat’

‘No parties until we tell you’

‘Don’t ask stupid questions’

‘No cheese after 5pm on a Thursday, unless accompanied by a vicar.’ (This only applies in Berkshire)

‘No hairstyle jokes’

‘No bathing’

‘No dogs on skateboards’


For our convenience the government has collected these rules into a handy-sized booklets called ‘statutes’. There is a copy in the house of commons library but no one has read them because they don’t need to.



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