An enterprise from Cambridge has won 'best newcomer' at the International Business Awards. Holly Carter, founder of TA-x, explained the complexities of her innovative business model: 'Tax accountants are never prosecuted or sent to jail. Unless it is embezzlement of their client's money, they are protected under the law. But their clients can be prosecuted, even if they are completely unaware of what crafty tax avoidance mechanisms their accountant is employing. Also, tax accountants get paid a f*cking fortune. 'The innovation I came up with was to attract a whole load of filthy rich clients by convincing them I could save them more tax than anyone else by using an exclusive new system I have developed called SFA-x. It sounds so bewilderingly complex, that clients pretend they understand it, but have no idea what the hell is going on. They are crazy-rich thickos who hate saying they don't understand something, so they just nod and go "yah, yah" to everything I say. 'I take a ludicrously large retainer fee, and the genius part is what I do next. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not a sausage. When investigated, I get off scot-free, and they all get banged up. So it's a win-win scenario where I retire to the Cayman Islands as a 24-year-old millionaire, and cheating, rotten wankholes who sold their own grannies to make a quick buck, are left to rot in jail for not paying their fair share of taxes. 'If other accountants globally all used my method at the same time, the planet-destroying ruling classes would be overthrown, evaded taxes would be recouped, and the rest of us would all be saved.'
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