'When we've won the next general election, the first thing we'll do is take steps to reduce the current, unsustainably high levels of immigration' a source close to a spokesman for the Labour party is reported to have claimed.
'By running it badly, with a combination of incompetence, corruption and by launching a succession of half-arsed, poorly implemented & under-funded government initiatives, as well as by cash-starving all its essential services, we'll make the country such a scruffy, dreary, run-down place that no-one in their right mind would ever want to come here.'
This was immediately described as yet another example of Labour promising to adopt exactly the same policies as the present Tory government.