Labour Party agree sponsorship deal with Man Utd

After the Barcelona football team agreed a sponsorship deal with an African country, another unusual deal is hitting the headlines. Astonishingly, the UK Labour Party is believed to have agreed a shirt sponsorship deal with Manchester United.

The deal between Barcelona and the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) will ‘raise the profile of the country’ and see Barça players’ shirts bearing the slogan DR Congo – Heart of Africa.

The deal between Labour and Man U will ‘raise the profile of the party’ and see players shirts bearing the slogan ‘Up The Reds’. Labour insiders think that the best chance of getting anyone to shout ‘Up The Reds’ these days is at a Man United football match.

The arrangement has been criticised by the other parties, who probably can’t afford to follow suit.  A team called the Clacton Over-50s Occasionals is thought to have rejected an approach from Reform.

Labour insist that the sponsorship deal is good value, and will get them priceless screen time on sports channels and, occasionally, on the BBC. The deal is thought to include free football strip for Cabinet members and free tickets to every match. They say that this deal is part of their levelling up agenda, and that a planned deal with Arsenal was rejected by some stroppy back benchers. 

As part of the deal, Manchester United have promised to promote equality and diversity, to avoid playing any away games in Israel, to ensure that match catering is from sustainable food sources, and to occasionally win a match, if circumstances allow.

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