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Liz Truss reveals ambition to become Queen

In an in-depth interview today, Prime Minister Truss explained how she only accepted the role of Prime Minister to get the inside track on how the Queen operates. An aide explained that Truss had long expressed a desire to become the reigning monarch but had been unable to find out where you applied, who you bribed or even a job description.

'The money is clearly enough,' suggested the aide, 'and Liz is more than capable of making off-colour comments about foreign dignitaries and their subjects,' before being reminded that had been Prince Philip's role. 'Anyhow, I'm sure she'll be clocking what the Queen does in Balmoral and will be paying very close attention on her weekly meetings. Some of us suspect the Queen is likely to retire or something sometime soon, and Liz will be right in there,' the aide confirmed.

A Palace spokesperson declined to comment on the application process but repeated that HM the Queen had been declared as fit for work by the DWP, as has Prince Philip, and didn't see her standing back just to claim benefits, especially as that would mean she would be liable for her dual fuel bills instead of the taxpayer.

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