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Melting ice in Downing Street champagne buckets linked to rising sea levels

Climate scientists have traced a dramatic rise in sea levels to multiple Downing Street ‘work events.’

‘This is devastating news for the planet,’ said Professor Katherine Hansen, Senior Climate Advisor at NASA. ‘Data from our satellites suggest that the ice buckets have taken us from a slow catastrophe to a rapid catastrophe. The runoff is far worse than that from monster icebergs, the Greenland ice sheet and mountain glaciers. These ‘work events’ have put the planet in clear and present danger.’

A Downing Street spokesperson disputed the findings. ‘The Prime Minister is keen to follow the science at all times and takes these findings jolly seriously. However, the suggestion that only a massive tidal wave sweeping along the Thames will drown out all the noise, is complete and utter piffle.’

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