Men-in-crisis outbreak spreads across Britain
- eppursimuove
- 6 days ago
- 1 min read
An unfortunate condition spreading across Britain has been identified as men-in-crisis.
The condition is caught by close contact with online influencers (aka superspreaders) such as Andrew Tate or his many imitators. In some cases, it’s thought the victim clicked on a link sent by another sufferer, in which case it’s designated “viral men-in-crisis”.
Symptoms include a draining of your bank account, as sufferers sign up to what would to anyone else seem like obviously fraudulent schemes, as well as spending excessive time in the gym but being less impressive than ever to the opposite sex.
”I think she quite liked me at first,” said one former victim who wished to remain anonymous, “until I told her to ‘get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich’. I really can’t imagine now why I said that. It just shows you how the disease warps your sense of reality.”
His case shows there is hope for even the most severe sufferers if they undergo a rigorous programme of disengaging from the internet, leaving their parents’ basement and going outdoors, and reading books once in a while. There are even online groups to help deradicalise men formerly affected, though the exclusively male membership means they can sometimes revert to the very “bro culture” they’re trying to ameliorate.
”Either that, or they go too far the other way and start wanking on about yoga, sound journeys and ‘nurturing your inner child’. I don’t know which is worse.
”Yes I do. Andrew Tate’s worse.”
Image: Fotorech - Pixabay
