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One Tory MP can feed a family of five for a year

As the debate rages as to whether the poor would prefer to starve on 30 or 40p a day, one generous MP has donated his giblets to a local food bank. He explained: 'I wanted to prove you could eat economically, provided you weren't too picky about the taste of human flesh'.

The MP reported to his nearest abattoir and his final remains were repackaged as veal cutlets. Said one grateful recipient: 'He was a great MP but an even tastier main. And there was so much meat on the bone - they must have been force feeding him for years'.

For those wanting a vegetarian option, a local councillor from the Green Party has been approached. One dietician remarked: 'MPs are a rich source of free range meat which, in turn, should be served with a rich sauce'. A spokeswoman for the Vegan society said: 'Normally we'd say meat is murder but in this case, we say go for it'.

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