top of page

Queen's covid response indicates the virus can jump species again

Her Majesty the Queen has said that her recent brush with covid left her tired, irritable and short on humour. 'It was like Philip had returned,' she said. Covid researchers have shown alarm at the Queen exhibiting symptoms as previously the virus transmission chain only included bats, humans, cats and dogs. 'If lizards can catch it, then we'll probably never stop it,' said one researcher today.

'We were initially concerned when Prime Minister Boris Johnson contracted the disease in the early days of the pandemic, we didn't think it could be passed to beings that were almost but not quite human forms, but then we thought "OK, it's only Boris, might do the country some good",' admitted a covid researcher today. 'So we weren't concerned at all in the end,' he added.

It is currently unknown if Jacob Rees-Mogg is capable of getting the disease. Now that blood temperature doesn't appear to be a barrier there is only the small issues of not requiring oxygen to function and the inability to cast a reflection to consider. 'To date, every person that we know to have caught covid has been known to cast a shadow, so perhaps he's going to be ok, unfortunately,' said a researcher.

165 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Stonehenge returned to bronze age

Although it is unclear what the fault is, a Neolithic circle known as Stonehenge has been returned to the Bronze Age. This leaves the only remaining ancient artefact in our time which is five thousand

Putin visits North Korea's World of Cheese

On his rare visit to Pyongyang, Putin has been treated to a celebration of North Korea's success in battling famine and its lack of pizza toppings. A parade of tank-sized vegetables marched through th


bottom of page