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Scottish stationer asks how long next First Minister likely to last


Renowned Scottish stationer McCreedy’s has protested at yet another job being sent back because it was out of date by the time they delivered it.



”We’d produced the complete set of personalised stationery for Holyrood - letterheads, comp slips, envelopes - all referencing Humza Yousaf as First Minister. And on the very morning we deliver it, the bugger resigns. 



“We vowed not to take any more Westminster jobs after the Liz Truss fiasco, which led to tonnes of paper having to be pulped, but Edinburgh seems just as bad these days.”



The spokesmen went on to say they’d be seeking guarantees before accepting any more orders from Holyrood. “For example, is the new First Minister in coalition with another party he’s about to massively piss off?”



Asked if they were also concerned Scotland might achieve independence, with all the reprinting that would require, the spokesman laughed and said “No, I don’t think so. It’s the paradox of Scottish politics that the Nats will always be in power, often with a huge majority, but in a referendum the people will always reject their one and only policy. We’re a bit like teenagers who constantly moan about their parents but never quite have the balls to leave home.”


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