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Starmlin purges party of “counter-revolutionary elements”

In a surprise move, Sir Keir Starmlin has moved swiftly to purge the party of what he called 'reactionary and counter-revolutionary elements'.

In a Pravda editorial thought to be by Starmlin himself, former party members Diane Abbottovic and Faiza Shaheeniev were accused of conspiring with the exiled traitor Corbsky and attempting to bring about counter-revolution. And also liking a tweet ten years ago.

The traitors were dragged from their beds in the middle of the night and arrested. It’s thought they will offer no defence of their actions, as a result of the recent ruling that accusing the NEC of making a mistake is itself a treasonous act. Party workers will now begin the work of airbrushing them out of any photos showing them next to the Dear Leader.

When the arrests were announced at a party meeting, they were met with applause lasting several hours, as people feared that whoever stopped clapping first would probably join them in the gulag.

Image credit: Wix AI

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