Williamson flushes Sunak's head down toilet
As fresh rumours of Gavin Williamson's bullying swirl, he has resigned from the cabinet to devote more time to flushing Lil Rishi Sunak's head down a Downing Street toilet and stealing his lunch money.
As Chief Whip, Williamson used to keep a pet tarantula on his desk in an unsuccessful attempt to appear interesting.
He still appears to have the energy of a manager on an away day, desperate to build the best bridge out of toilet rolls and genuinely furious when he doesn't. Later, in the bar, that manager would make an awkward sexual advance to a junior female staff member, resulting in a letter in his file and his sleeping in the spare room for several months.