NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

SchoolBiscuit

Oversubscribed Middlesbrough school credits ‘satisfactory’ Ofsted report

Lusitania school - setting pride alightThe report singled out ‘variable’ standards of teaching and ‘low-level’ task setting – marked improvements on the previous ratings of ‘woeful’ and ‘non-existent’.

Read more >



Modern-day nativity ruined as Mary and Joseph submit online tax return

also found myrrh cheaper on Amazon‘Still, everyone loved the Moira Stewart character, and her ‘tax doesn’t have to be taxing’ line really stole the show.’

Read more >



Parents of A-Level loser plan gap year

taking the slow boat to PalookavilleFollowing his disastrous A-level results, the parents of James Ardingly have decided to take a year out while he works for his re-sits next summer.

Read more >



Nation celebrates ‘prettiest A levels ever’

more certificates than ever received A* grades

Read more >



Creationist school appears out of nowhere

God knows where it came fromScientists are said to be ‘baffled’ after a school teaching Creationism suddenly appeared overnight in a Hampshire field complete with a full retinue of teachers and pupils.

Read more >