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False widow spider ‘ate my dog’

choose your pets wisely, and train them in martial artsDog owners are on high alert in Dartmoor after claims by a local farmer that his border collie was eaten by a giant false widow spider.

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Badger admits falsifying ‘killer spider’ story to deflect attention from cull

don't be stupid, it's only a spiderA crafty badger has today admitted to circulating a misleading and factually incorrect story about ‘man-eating death spiders’, in a desperate bid to lead the publics’ attention away from the mass badger cull that shot into action back in August.

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Middle England civil unrest builds as agricultural advisors’ strike hits The Archers

emergency meeting called at the Bull next Friday, if all the crops aren't ruined by rainA strike by agricultural advisers has led to a mountain of unapproved scripts in the offices and corridors of the Radio 4 flagship drama The Archers.

Arthur Heffer, BBC agricultural liaison executive, explained: ‘Without the scrutiny of a qualified agricultural advisor, it would be sheer madness to let a script go into production.’

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Politicians to be permanently sealed within giant Westminster Bubble

welcome to the pleasure domeThe multi-million pound Odium Project aims to collect every variety of politician, lobbyist and political journalist and keep them in a safe, temperature controlled environment.

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Cuadrilla plans to frack Eric Pickles

workers will only stop for pie breaksWith the cost of policing protests at its test drilling site in Sussex spiralling out of control, energy firm Cuadrilla has decided to try Plan B. Starting next week, it will begin fracking for oil and gas in an equally large and equally immobile site, the Communities and Local Government Secretary Eric Pickles. There are some major logistical challenges to overcome, the firm admitted.

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