The news written by you…


Menopausal women’s hot flushes to power national grid

fan just takes, takes, takes‘We estimate that the energy generated by just 10,000 women will be equal to five hours of hydro-electric output from the Hoover Dam’

Read more >

Government to reduce cull opposition by demonising literary badgers

they've got it coming!Environment Secretary Owen Paterson has announced a widespread rewriting of all literary works that contain favourable references to badgers in an attempt to persuade the public that badgers should be shot after all.

Read more >

West achieves victory in war on bees

mission accomplishedCynics scoffed and said that it would go the same way as the ‘War on Terror’ and the ‘War on Drugs’, two more scourges of mankind that were too ubiquitous to fight properly. Yet as of today, when the last remaining honey bee was humanely destroyed in a laboratory in Cambridge, humankind has finally triumphed over one of its most ruthless and cynical adversaries.

Read more >

What went on in the snowdrift to stay in the snowdrift, confirm rescued rams

What?Two rams who were trapped in a snowdrift in Antrim for 23 days and only managed to escape after the recent warm weather caused a thaw, today steadfastly refused to talk about their ordeal.

Read more >

50+ adults re-live their youth by ‘Swimming with condoms’

surf johnnies ahoy!Whilst many of today’s trendy youngsters dream of ‘Swimming with dolphins’ in US-style theme parks, the 50+ generation is increasingly remembering youthful days spent in local rivers and canals ‘Swimming with condoms’ and now lament the disappearance of the french letter experience.

Read more >