After reports of failing to hold their weak, tasteless so-called beer during the current Ashes tour, an investigation has been launched into the appalling drinking performance of the English cricket team. Apparently, England have been totally outclassed by their hosts so far on this tour. Batters were battered and bowlers got hammered despite the lack of alcohol in the nation’s beverages, much to the amusement of the locals. Critics point to the lack of preparation, saying th

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Well, blimey, what a year! For starters, we got Brexit done, as I promised. When I say Brexit was done, I done Brexit. Well, something I...

Festive panic is sweeping the nation after Santa Claus announced he will be outsourcing Christmas gift deliveries to Evri and other mainstream courier companies this year. Santa said he has been forced to make logistical changes, confessing that Rudolph and the other reindeer are all getting on a bit, and are now more arthritic than magical. “They’ve done wonderfully up to now,” Santa said of his reindeer, “but Dasher’s knees click like a Geiger counter, Prancer needs a sit-d

Jake Paul, the influencer and amateur boxer, did not do well in his boxing match with Anthony Joshua. But canny political operator Liz Truss has noticed how much publicity the match attracted, and is now keen to fight Anthony Joshua herself. Although Liz Truss has no boxing experience at all, she still fancies her chances. 'It's an all British match,' she shrieked with unaccountable gusto, 'It'll be EPIC,' she yelled, lapsing into upper case, just like her hero, Donald Trump.

Putin has promised there will be no more wars, if Europe respects Russia. His spokesman went on to explain that respect, in this context, means not objecting when Russia takes entire countries that Russia thinks it rightfully owns because it conquered them once before. And not offering them military assistance and funding. Also respecting Russia's plans to make Europe dependent on Russian resources like oil and gas. And not developing weapons that could counter Russia's weapo

The former PM and unrepentant liar has given the anti-vax movement a significant boost by promoting a fourth vaccine. Complained one...

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In one of the cruellest examples of public exploitation a 79 year old man’s cognitive decline has been broadcast worldwide despite obvious signs that his mind is wandering. 'It’s human interest TV’, one exec told NewsBiscuit. ‘We need to take dementia out of the closet and show the world what to watch out for. When we started this series, Don was mildly impaired. As time has gone on his condition has inevitably worsened. It’s a cruel disease but makes compelling TV. The ratin

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