While the British government has banned the use of the word uprising, citizens will still be allowed to call the Israeli PM a homicidal maniac. In fact, peace protesters will be encouraged to sing the chant "Who's the wanker in the black?". A minister defended the draconian law. "Words like rebellion are clearly racist. Empires and colonialists are always the good guys. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to instruct the Death Star to destroy the planet Alderaan." Wanted for geno

Following news that the civil servant leading the inquiry into the 10 Downing Street Christmas party has resigned because he also...

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After successfully renaming The Kennedy Center the Trump-Kennedy Center, in a fit of ego, President Trump has decided to name everything in USA after himself. "He's going to start with things he likes, the Trump-McDonalds-Big-Mac and Trump-Diet-Coke and see how it goes from there," said a Whitehouse Spokesman. The White House is expected to be renamed "The Trump House" from early January, with Washington DC expected to become "Trumpington DC" by February. When questioned abou

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Subscribers to the hate outlet store that doubles as one of Nigel Farage's pensions have decided that MBHA (Making Britain Hate Again) is essentially a charity, not a political movement. 'Sure, we have political leanings,' said a spokesman for Reform Ltd today, 'but we clearly don't take that part seriously.  Check out Nigel's surgeries in Clacton, for example.  Or his appearances in Parliament.  We exist to ensure Nigel has enough money to put food on the table - his table ,

"We just have to accept the forces of global competition," said a spokes-druid for English Heritage. "The UK has lost its lead to a country which can build ancient monuments better, faster and cheaper. China's first "Clonehenge" - an exact replica of the complete Stones as they stood in 2,500 BCE, made from 3D printed authentic Stone Age-look cement, will go on display in Dubai over Christmas. Others will be unveiled in the new year at Disney sites in California, Florida and

The race for this year’s Christmas number one has taken a surprising turn as veteran rock n’ roller Cliff Richard released F*ck off...

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Santa is tightening his belt after checking his pay slip, twice, and finding his salary has not risen. His per hour rate is the same as last Christmas, a mince pie and a glass of whisky. Elves, on the other hand, but have seen a slight bump in average pay compared to last year with twice much being provided in the four main food groups, candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup . A spokesdeer for the Union of Santa's Distributor and Reindeer (USDAR), Red Rudolf, admitted pile

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Faced with a five billion dollar legal claim from Donald Trump, the BBC has closed down.  'The BBC has no assets to speak of,' said a spokesman.  'Even the test card is owned by someone else.  There's nothing left.' Now that the BBC has closed down, Donald Trump will not be able to recover any damages, and the BBC will not defend the case.  Viewers need not worry, however.  All of the BBC's staff will be taken on by a completely unrelated new body called BBC (2025) Limited.