We really want visitors to come,' says Carrie van Park, who works for the Isle of Wight tourist board. 'A tourist tax will just discourage visits. But we realised that a negative tourist tax would do the opposite.' The negative tax is provisionally set at three pounds per night. Economists have estimated that this could increase overnight visits to the island by between one thousand and one hundred thousand over the tourist season. 'Visitors already have to pay for the ferry

The government has admitted that the net migration figures are due to the same man arriving, leaving and returning, usually by small boat, sometimes on a trawler, occasionally on a barge, never by P & O as they only use third world labour at slave rates and although an illegal migrant he has his principles. Apparently the furore earlier this year regarding a migrant deported who turned back up again twenty-four hours later wasn't an isolated case.  It was the same guy U-turni

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An Alien who landed on Earth in Norfolk, for that is where all aliens choose to visit first, asked a local human if it would be OK to...

"He's a deeply disagreeable, narcissistic showman who treats everyone around him like dirt," said a spokes-clapperboard for the Groundhog Day franchise. "Therefore, the gods punish him by making him try to get a peace deal for Ukraine, on a loop, for the best part of a year. "Every time, it's the same story. Donald Trump tries to bully Zelensky into giving Russia everything it wants - because that would make the whole business so much simpler. Every time, Zelensky's European

Heathrow’s much discussed third runway has been given the green light and will see it sharing space with the M25. Long haul flights to the far East will now merge with motorway traffic to Hounslow and Feltham. Airplanes will have to keep two chevrons apart and the hard shoulder will be used to indicate the position of the wing tips. The plans, passed by a narrow majority in a free vote in the House of Commons this week, have been variously described as ‘insane’ and ‘inspired’

The general public are outraged by the profligacy, but no one can turn their nose up at cheap tickets to Alton Towers. A Minister said: "Yes its a dystopian authoritative overreach, but on the upside you'll get 5% off Tesco brand trainers." £1.8bn on a loyalty card is a bargain when you think of the things we could wasted it on- like ending homelessness. Instead we'll get a shiny bit of plastic, every bit as valuable as your Blockbuster card. "No one wants a Digital ID and th

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A pair of upper class YouTube stars are being hailed as heroes after devising an ingenious method for money saving during a time of...

People with broad shoulders across the UK has expressed outrage at Rachel Reeves budget yesterday, claiming they are unfairly being expected to carry the brunt of tax rises on their admittedly impressive deltoids.  'The Chancellor says those with the broadest shoulders should bear the biggest burden of tax rises', noted Mick (22-inch shoulder width) towelling himself down during a 30 minute weightlifting workout at the Muscle and Bustle gym in Croydon. 'I'm now facing punitiv