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The new political party founded by Jeremy Corbyn and Agatha Raisin, sorry Zarah Sultana, remains without a name even after its official launch.


It’s thought the two may ask the public to come up with the name, possibly making it into a competition on BBC children’s programme Blue Peter. Early indications are that Party McPartface will be a popular choice, along with The People’s Front of Islington. However, the people who favour the latter are keen to distance themselves from those who prefer The Islington People’s Front, whom they describe as 'splitters'. 


Another option is Old Labour, reflecting a retreat to pre-1994 values and the age of Jeremy Corbyn (76). Many countries seem to value old leaders, and they seem to work out very well, so why not? And some have suggested the Tooting Freedom Party, a hat-tip to the famous left wing politician John Wolfie Smith. More frivolous suggestions include Nomentum, The Socialist Pensioners’ Party and assorted feeble puns such as Left Field, Left Out, and Leftovers.


Meanwhile, Reform have said it’s ridiculous to found a party and not know what to call it. ‘Obviously, you start with a catchy name, and then hope someone comes up with some policies at some point.’



Includes contributions from sinnick, james_doc and deskpilot


Picture credit: deep dream generator

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US Democrats have declared July 31st 'International Chicken Day'. The day is already National Avocado Day and National Chilli Dog Day - so what's with the chicken?


Democrats are, of course, just trying to score political points. They expect July 31st to be the day that Donald Trump chickens out of imposing tariffs - again!


Donald has been threatening tariffs since forever. He's imposed a few, changed a few, lifted a few - a general tariff hokey-cokey in fact. But he keeps chickening out on imposing most tariffs, claiming that countries are super keen to agree trade deals. Yeah. Right.


Will the suggestion that Trump Always Chickens Out be correct again? Probably. The President is widely expected to give most nations another 20/40/50/90 days to do a deal. Because, so far, the USA has concluded no significant trade deals at all (sorry, Britain - not significant).


So we will probably all be celebrating on July 31st with avocados (not Mexican, obviously), chilli dogs...and another massive helping of chicken.



Picture credit: Wix AI

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July 2024


On the fourth of July 2024 the United Kingdom finally achieved independence from its Tory government. The Labour Party, led by a famous toolmakers' son, won a landslide victory on a campaign about change. Nothing else. Just change. The results were so bad that Reform won four seats. Keir Starmer and Rachel Reeves polished a new double act with a sketch called ‘Tory Black Hole’ that they repeated every day. Their oft-repeated catchphrase was about ‘tough decisions’.


Later in the month, a crack marksman shot a small hole in Donald Trump’s earlobe, giving him more hours of priceless publicity for his Presidential campaign. The assassination attempt proved fatal for Joe Biden, and his campaign was finally ended for him, because he couldn’t remember anything appropriate or useful. Catching Covid was the final straw.


In real news, the England (men’s) football team made it to the final of the Euros. In order to fulfil an important national stereotype, they were contractually obliged to lose, which they obligingly did. Gareth Southgate was widely seen as having done a good job, and obviously, therefore, had to go. In tennis, Wimbledon. In other sport, the Paris Olympics began. The opening ceremony went on for miles, and seemingly for days. The central theme seemed to be about torrential rain. Thames Water weren’t sponsoring the swimming events in the Seine, but they should have been. Anti-sport activists disrupted the French rail service.


There were widespread IT problems when CrowdStrike, the cybersecurity ‘experts’ messed up a software update and caused problems around the world. Switching it off and on again didn’t help.


In entertainment news, the involuntary manslaughter case against Alec Baldwin was dismissed because the prosecution had withheld evidence. And Thames Water’s credit rating was downgraded to junk status – due to ‘insufficient liquidity’. Lol.


Here is a selection of the top stories from July 2024. Click through to read the stories and the author credits. Scroll down to see some of the month’s best headlines.


General Election

Sport

US politics

Other big stories


Headlines

CrowdStrike advises GPs to ring at 8am to book an appointment

Man suspected of meat theft faces grilling

Alec Baldwin discharged

Cheshire supergrass enters Widnes protection programme

Fears for COVID after it contracts Joe Biden

Reports of spiking incident at jousting competition

St Swithin predicts no England footie win for the next 40 years

Unkempt incontinent let himself go

Post Office report all their computers are running fine

Man looking forward to Gavin and Stacey special doesn't get out much

Raducanu fans say they understand problem of stiff wrists

Tory HQ, "We're gonna need a bigger vote!"

Russia wins early gold in Olympics Sabotage event

Trump shooter “posed an ear and present danger”

Biden 'I will continue my bid for re-electrician'

Prisoners left in corridors whilst waiting for cells to become available

Scottish bog gets world heritage status - but I'd give it 10 minutes

Farage MP's to be sent to Reform School

UK prepares to be disappointed by Labour government for a change

Chris Grayling's first week at CrowdStrike going supremely well



Picture credit: Wix AI

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