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March 2024. We were all preoccupied with the looming elections both here and abroad, with plenty of media coverage for all the parties in the UK and for Donald Trump in the USA. The royals were going down like nine pins, and this generated a photoshopping scandal. Although - is scandal the right word? Bits continued to fall off Boeing aeroplanes. The UN called for a ceasefire in Gaza. That went well (irony). But they got there eventually. The Boat Race was a bit, err, unpleasant, after Thames Water refused to install motion sensors.


Here is a selection of the top stories that month, loosely organised by topic. Click through to read the stories and the author credits. Scroll down to see some of the month’s best headlines.


General Election


US Election


Royal Family


Other Stuff


And here is a selection of the best headlines from March 2024


Diane Abbott: Tory donor was rude about me 30 times, no, 3000 times, no, 3 million times

Thames water bills must rise or dividends will dry up

Surveillance of dog kennels is dubbed a Snoopy's charter

UN Security Council calls for immediate ceasefire in Tory Party

Home Insulation Targets laid out in Government's New Draft Plan

Boat Race crews say they just went through the motions this year

Russian Presidential Election: Putin practising his surprised face

Photoshop applies for royal warrant

Sexual orientation acronym longer than alphabet

Spoonerism quipsters all ready for Psalm pun day


Picture credit: Wix AI


NewsBiscuit – the media outlet that brought such scoops as ‘Queen punches Emma Watson’, ‘Dog wins custody of Johnny Depp’ & ‘Piers Morgan beheaded by CNN’.


NewsBiscuit – who warned ‘Hobbits to be culled’, ‘Ducks to become our new Overlords’ and ‘Public told not to download naked photos of Steven Seagal’.


NewsBiscuit - raising delicate issues of faith, such as 'Child finds Jesus in her Kinder Surpriseâ„¢', 'Jedis still outnumber Nuns' and 'Pope fails to give birth'.


NewsBiscuit – the first to reveal ‘Last man to fake Moon walk dies’, ‘Chocolate bars aren’t smaller, we’re just fatter’ and the prophetic 'Sex originated in Scotland and will probably end there'.


NewsBiscuit. Not a biscuit. Definitely not news.


Another backdated compilation of NewsBiscuit from befgore the start of time - or shortly after



REVIEWS


W. Shakespeare: ‘If only I’d thought of it first.’


Johannes Gutenberg: ‘It’s what the printing press was invented for.’


Amazon Reviewer: ‘What do you mean I can’t get a refund?’


Lego to Replace Bitcoin makes a great gift for your friends and for yourself






NewsBiscuit (newsbiscuit.com) was created in September 2006 by TV writer and author John O’Farrell to provide the UK with the first British online satire news site. One of the underpinning features of NewsBiscuit that still sets it apart from its competitors is that it exists to allow aspiring comedy writers an environment to develop and hone their skills at no cost to themselves, while providing the UK and beyond with a daily dose of satirical and comedic articles and tickers.


A group of six of the NewsBiscuit editors have assembled and curated over 500 comedic articles and several hundred one line jokes that have been published on the website over the last 15 years, covering topics ranging from UK and World news, Science, Technology, Sport and Faith, plus many more.


All of the articles and one-liners published in this anthology have been granted permission to be reproduced by over 80 contributors free of charge.


15 Years of Typos makes a great gift for friends and, of course, for yourself!





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