Boris Johnson publishes price list for describing what the UK is not
The prime minister’s office has announced that from tomorrow he will publicly state the sentence “Britain is not a ______ country”, any time, for a fee.
The fee will depend on what word or phrase is selected to fill in the blank. The options are:
“French” - 20 pounds
“wobbly” - 25 pounds
“real” - 30 pounds
“square” - 40 pounds
“Welsh” - 50 pounds
“sausage shaped” - 100 pounds
“hairy” - 250 pounds
“very good” - 500 pounds
“disease ridden” 750 pounds
“cheese filled” - 1000 pounds
“Boaty McBoatface” - 2000 pounds
(Just use the blank) - 5000 pounds
“shits n' giggles”- 50,000 pounds
“corrupt” - 100,000 pounds
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First published 12 Nov 2021
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