A Chinese woman resident in the UK has been trying to improperly influence parliamentarians according to an interference warning issued by government.
'What she has been doing is unacceptable,' said a Downing Street source. 'She has followed all of the correct procedures and acted completely appropriately at all times, and that's just not the way we do things around here.'
'What she should have done is conducted herself in a shady, underhand manner and attempted to influence politicians in corrupt ways. She would have been much more successful if she had bribed us or thrown some sort of illegal party.'