I didn't see that coming, admits Nostradamus
- Jeremynh
- 8 minutes ago
- 1 min read
"So, in the strange and dark year of our Lord 2026, America attacks Iran and Iran closes the Strait of Hormuz to shipping," said the ghost of Michel de Nostradame to a seance of reporters.
"I didn't have that in my Book of Apocalyptic Predictions. But that's because I didn't think anyone would be so stupid as to attack Iran without first securing the Strait of Hormuz.
"Hell, the Shah of Persia was threatening to close that strait back in the 16th Century, when I was a nipper.
"Who the hell ordered the attacks on Iran? That guy called Trump?"
"Well, I didn't foresee that the Americans would be so dumb as to elect a dingbat like him as their president.
"How the hell am I meant to make accurate predictions when everyone is so randomly moronic?"