Quintuple A Stars for Quentins and Tarquins everywhere

The wealthy parents of privileged children have been posting insufferable guff on Instagram as A level results are published in England, #deserved #blessed

Many of the schools that those children were sent to have annual fees in the tens of thousands of pounds - thus, for tax purposes, these schools pretend to be charities. Meanwhile, children from underprivileged backgrounds who achieve even better results can look forward to being unable to afford the cost of university.

Tabloid photo editors confirmed that they were only looking for 'posh leggy blondes, either jumping or hugging', for their front pages, with one hack noting 'some of those fine fillies can aspire to becoming the wives of the stockbrokers, management consultants and Tory MPs of the future. Huzzah! '

Photo by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash