The ICE Barbie School of Creative Excuses
- Jeremynh
- 6 minutes ago
- 1 min read
Can't think up a good excuse for missing work a second day running? Or for rolling home drunk on your anniversary without a gift for your wife and with lipstick on your collar?
You need to sign up at the ICE Barbie School of Creative Excuses.
This is the woman who stunned the world by saying that Minnesota mum Renee Good, who was shot by ICE agents while driving away in her car, was a domestic terrorist trying to run them over.
ICE Barbie, aka Kristi Noem, then went one better by saying that ICU nurse Alex Pretti, who was shot several times on the ground by Border Patrol agents, was on the verge of killing them all with his phone and a gun still in its holster. And, naturally, she called the slain man a domestic terrorist.
"Our policy with domestic terrorists," Barbie told the press, "is to shoot first and think up vile excuses after."
"The greatest excuse of all," gushed a current student at the ICE Barbie School, "was her excuse for making all these outrageous excuses. She said Trump and his henchman Stephen Miller had told her to say them.
"Barbie's like a cockroach," the student continued to gush. "She is utterly incompetent and thick but her ability to tell jaw-dropping lies to keep herself out of trouble makes her indestructible."
The student in question, one Kemi Badenoch from London, had enrolled at the ICE Barbie School to learn how to explain away the defection of 23 current and former Conservative MPs to Reform UK.
Image: Sandra-Gabriel - Pixabay