Trump declares that the Strait of Hormuz is "fake news"

"I never heard of it before," Trump told his audience at a rally in Ignoramus, Nebraska.

"And none of my golfing buddies or sons in law ever heard anything about this Strait of Hormuz, either - and they're my Middle East experts.

"But that might be because they're the kind of experts who shoot their mouths off first and look at maps after. 

"I hear people are saying that the Iranians has just invented this Hormuz place. They're saying to me: 'Sir, this is the dead Ayatollah spreading fake news to pretend you haven't won the war yet.'

"If anyone says anything ever again about this made-up Strait of Hormuz being blocked, or ships getting sunk in it, I'll have Kash Patel's FBI Gestapo arrest them for treason. And if I hear our lying, liberal TV companies say another word about Hormuz, then I'll sue them and get the FCC to confiscate their licences.

"And now I've dealt with all these lies about the the totally fake Strait of Hormuz, you're going to see gas prices fall so low they'll be paying you to fill up your car."

Donald Trump is 79 in decrepit, sinking oil tanker years.     

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