A controversial sequel to the popular Charlie’s Angels movie has been announced this week, with a cast comprising entirely of bearded men from the West Midlands. The unexpected twist on the 2000 blockbuster comes just days after director Paul Feig announced an all-female cast for the reboot of the 1984 classic Ghostbusters, much to the dismay of many dedicated fans.
Following the revelation that the blue and gold braided beard on the mask of the pharaoh Tutankhamun had been hurriedly glued back on after it was damaged, archaeologists and museum conservators around the world are checking for other instances of bodged conservation.
Italian conservator Luigi Boninsegna, based at Galleria dell’Accademia in Florence, has given assurances that Michelangelo’s Statue of David remains intact, despite one or two female visitors remarking on the disappointing size of his manhood.
Film-lovers from all around the UK, though mostly in the Home Counties, are abuzz this week with the re-release of every single Merchant Ivory film in spellbinding 3D, including classics like A Room With A View and The Remains Of The Day.
When asked why he had gone 3D with 55 different period dramas, director James Ivory said: ‘I felt it was time to reach a younger audience, like people in their 70s. If you think another shot of Anthony Hopkins gazing wistfully out of a window onto an Edwardian lawn can’t get any more exhilarating, wait until you see it in 3D. Honestly, it feels like you could reach out and stroke his croquet balls.’
After long deliberations and ‘some experiment in rehearsal’, the producers of Last Tango in Halifax have opted to use a well-known brand name margarine in a much-awaited key scene. Director Mike Smillers said: ‘We were pretty sure we weren’t going to use butter, even as an ‘homage’ to the French original ‘Last Tango in Paris’. Someone bought 200 grams of salted Lurpak to the read through, but we ended up using it for sandwiches.’
The cast did experiment with lard in an early rehearsal. Co Star Anne Reid told the TV Times: ‘There was a lot going for the lard lobby. Very northern and down to earth, and no strain on the production budget. And luckily neither of us is a vegetarian. But after Dinner Ladies, I was uncomfortable with it, frankly, and so was Derek, eventually.’
In a community already devastated by murder, dour-faced detectives will tackle a spate of shocking crimes that culminate in the vandalism of the cricket pavilion.