ArtsBiscuit
A group of good-looking American teenagers have refused point-blank to enter a reputedly haunted house on the outskirts of their town. Despite their self-confessed stupidity and the lack of better things to do on a hot summer night in Clarksville, Tennessee, all seven said that they had no interest in exploring the derelict mansion at 2300 Hullsport Road.
Fearing that shadowy official sources would once again attempt to misdirect a gullible public on the true circumstances surrounding the ‘supposed’ death of a major international figure with the release of supposed ‘facts’ from emergency services calls and secret hospital autopsies, conspiracy theorists from around the world met to hammer out a Common Unified Conspiracy Theory over the death of Michael Jackson.
The Advertising Standards Authority’s complaints hotline was jammed last night after a housewife in an advertisement for washing powder seemingly went berserk and disciplined her on-screen ’son’ in front of thousands of angry viewers.
Salute 2009, the biggest miniature wargames gathering in the UK, was besieged by hordes of hysterical young girls yesterday as fans of the hobby’s greatest gamers flocked to the Excel Exhibition Centre in London to see their heroes in action.
As the tabletops were prepared with scenery, painstakingly painted miniatures carefully unpacked and the minutiae of wargaming rules brushed up on, hundreds of teenage girls worked themselves up into a delirious frenzy while they waited for their idols, such as 56 year old gaming idol Barry Cullen, to appear.
Hoping to cash in on the popularity of survivalists such as Ray Mears and Bear Grylls, the BBC has unveiled an exciting new adventure show which pits indigenous tribesmen from some of the most hostile places on Earth against the strange and frightening environment of a luxury 5-star hotel. According to the BBC’s latest press release, ‘Out of the Wild’ represents a radical re-imagining of the survival documentary. ‘Watch as native peoples such as the Amahuaka from the Amazon Basin, the K!ung San Bushmen of the Kalahari and the Oruks of Siberia adapt to life in the Majestic Hotel, Borehamwood, just a few miles from Elstree Studios.’
