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Jeremy Kyle fails to sort out Henry VIII’s love life

'Grab him by the Hamptons!'TV host Jeremy Kyle has admitted defeat in his bold attempt to distract Tudor monarch Henry VIII from his bid to divorce his middle-aged wife and overthrow the authority of the Papacy. The episode, entitled ‘You Had Sex With My Dead Brother, You Slag, Now God Won’t Give Me Any Sons’, is due to be aired next Wednesday.

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Taliban launch comeback tour with huge bang

Taylor Swift rapidly reinforcing her defencesJust when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, or in this case ‘a bicameral national legislature, comprising of two chambers’, it turns out it’s not. Like a blast from the past, or at least the detonation of a car bomb, the world’s favourite pantomime villains have returned with a cover-version of the 90’s Mullah-classic – ‘Boom! Boom! Shake Shake The Room’.

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Glastonbury Festival announces Right-Wing Field line-up

'Applaud them, or DIE!'The line-up to the Glastonbury Festival’s ‘Swing to the Right’ field, a stage dedicated to the promotion of un-progressive values, has been announced.

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New Clangers series to be damning indictment of Cameron’s Britain

Children’s TV classic The Clangers, which is set to return to screens after an absence of over forty years, will be a metaphor for the deep-seated malaise of modern society and a scathing attack on the greed and inequality at the diseased heart of David Cameron’s Britain, according to the show’s chief writer.

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ISIS inundated with middle class English applicants for unpaid internship

sort of thing Hemingway would doThe Islamic fundamentalist terror group say they have been overwhelmed by applications for an internship with their world-renowned media wing, Al Hayat, from English university media graduates.

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