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Salary survey reveals twats continuing to prosper

Don't be niceA survey of UK incomes has confirmed that people with real jobs – defined by the government as ones they can explain to their parents – are destined to scrape along just above poverty levels until death, while total arseholes doing socially useless things that mean nothing to nobody have to compensate for their unpopularity with industrial quantities of loot.

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ISIS inundated with middle class English applicants for unpaid internship

sort of thing Hemingway would doThe Islamic fundamentalist terror group say they have been overwhelmed by applications for an internship with their world-renowned media wing, Al Hayat, from English university media graduates.

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B&Q to close 60 ‘argument zones’

after screaming at each other in the tile section, why not look at the plantsKingfisher, parent company of B&Q and the ironically titled ‘Screwfix’, has announced it plans to phase out some of its least ‘maritally fractious’ stores.

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Russian Bombers to offer cut price flights to and from the UK

guaranteed to stay up better than the roubleIn a move, aggressively resisted by the RAF, the Russian Federation Air Force (Voyenno-Vozdushnye, Silly Rossii or ‘VVS’ for short) has attempted to muscle in on the lucrative budget air routes normally dominated by firms like ‘Easyjet’ and ‘Discount Flying Death Tubes’.

Using their superior reputation for customer welfare, the VVS will offer a range of services including military issue ‘nibbles’, stewardesses in camo paint and the chance to see a Tupolev Tu-95 strategic bomber ‘close up’.

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Unethical bank helps unethical people do something unethical

No appreciation of Ethics? Most of them live in SuthexThere is shock in the UK today as a Panorama investigation has shown an unethical bank has helped unethical people do something unethical.

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