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SchoolBiscuit

Boom in meth labs blamed on unsuccessful teachers’ strike

A sharp rise in the production of the highly addictive stimulant crystal methamphetamine on the UK’s streets has been directly blamed on last week’s national teachers’ strike today, which unions deemed largely unsuccessful.

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Superhero training school to be given academy status

to Peckham, and beyond...!The Department for Education has decided to give academy status to a newly established school that will turn out the British superheroes of the future.

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50′s stereotypes welcome reintroduction of Common Entrance Exam

so much better then1950’s stereotypes everywhere have given a ringing endorsement to Education Secretary Michael Gove’s plans to extend the Common Entrance Exam to state schools in an attempt to disabuse “uppity oiks” of any misguided aspirations towards higher education they may have been allowed to foster.

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Ofsted Chair ‘sleeps with the fishes’

received a better offer he couldn't refuseAfter the delivery of a ministerial attaché case containing an 11lb tuna to the headquarters of Ofsted, it has been hinted by sources at the Department of Education that the Chair of Ofsted, Labour Peer Baroness Morgan ‘Ain’t gonna be around no more, capisce?’

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Gove advisers accuse Sauron the Dark Lord of being too ‘Orc-Centred’

Sauron, the Dark Lord of Dol Guldur, whose eye falls like a pestilence upon the peoples of Middle Earth, is reported to be ‘Spitting black bile’ at reports leaked by advisers at the department of Education, critcising his rule of Mordor for being ‘too Orc-Centred’ and ‘trapped in 60′s Orthodoxies’.

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