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Scottish Labour MPs ‘near extinction’, captive breeding program proposed

'Just lie back and think of Scottish Labour'Fears are growing for the Scottish Labour MP after a recent report suggests there may be only a single individual left in the wild. Experts have proposed a captive breeding program at Edinburgh Zoo to help increase their numbers for eventual release.

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Avian privacy group slams RSPB ‘mass surveillance’

everything they do is known to the authoritiesAvian rights activists are demanding answers from the government today after the Guardian published tweets from an insider at the RSPB, indicating the shocking extent of directed surveillance against birds.

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Sid James sex pest trial jury returns verdict of ‘Oooh, saucy!’

er, carry on...The jury has sensationally decided that ‘that was how it was in them days’ and that no further action should be taken.

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Isle of Wight coast threatened by huge slick of charity shop tat

slime 'everywhere'It survived the French invasion of 1545 and even the influx of five Polish would-be migrant workers, who were eventually seized and burned at the stake in Freshwater in 2009. Now, however, the pristine coastline of the Isle of Wight is facing its most deadly menace ever after an estimated 500,000 barrels of utterly appalling crap from charity shops leaked from an underground bunker near Portsmouth into the Solent.

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Pompeii crisis ‘nothing to do with me’, says Mount Vesuvius

Shock and aaw! Come on, seriously?Active volcano Mount Vesuvius has insisted that it was not behind the crisis that engulfed Pompeii in AD79, and should not be held accountable for the devastation that took place.

The large cone-shaped projection claims the burying of the Roman city was a result of cataclysmic activity in the earth’s crust and the events that took place would somehow have happened anyway.

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