GreenBiscuit
The Worldwide Fund for Nature and the World Wrestling Federation have resolved a long-standing battle over legal rights to the distinctive initials by merging and have already released a number of American-style wrestlers into the wild.
New EU regulations due to come into force next year are set to force local authorities to increase the amount of reality TV stars they recycle, with tough targets set to create a 70% reduction in reality TV star waste by 2015.
‘These new rules are absolutely vital to protect our environment for our children and our children’s children’ explained EU Environment Commissioner Stavros Dimas. ‘Our projections show that landfill sites will soon be full of people who have appeared on a reality TV show once then been discarded, but there’s no reason at all that they can’t be recycled and used on another show. Action needs to be taken now.’
The West Midlands dogging community has hit out against picnicking families, dog walkers and people who generally like to get out for a bit of fresh air, for invading a popular dogging hotspot at the Beacon Hill public park, Wolverhampton.
Until recently the park was a haven for outdoor sex enthusiasts – participants, spectators and amateur film-makers alike – according to local Black Country dogger ‘Mr X’. ‘Beacon Hill used to be such a lovely, secluded spot where you could have sex in the back of a Vauxhall Vectra with someone else’s wife, free from the unwanted attentions of ordinary members of the public.’
The rest of the world may be moving towards greater use of solar power or wind power, but renewable energy generation that taps into specific local atmospheric conditions in the UK has leapt forward with a Manchester project that uses drizzle to power street lights.
Technical advances in British solutions to the global energy crisis will be driven by the UK’s unique micro-climates, says Professor Tom Choularton of University of Manchester’s School of Earth, Atmospheric and Environmental Sciences.
He explained: ‘Drizzle, which occurs nowhere else in such natural abundance, gives us three ways to generate power. First, it is a relentless source of downwardly vertical hydro energy to drive small turbines.
A summer family reunion of a wasp colony was abandoned today after the irksome arrival of a persistent human being spoiled the occasion for all concerned. ‘It’s just bloody typical,’ said the colony’s Queen. ‘You wait all summer for a day that’s nice enough to eat outside and then the second the food arrives, the only homo sapien for miles starts buzzing around everyone, and waving a rolled up newspaper around. I swear they serve no useful evolutionary purpose other than to annoy us.’
