NewsBiscuit

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HealthBiscuit

Middle class parents turn to plastic surgery to sharpen elbows

all about giving the kids a decent kick startEvidence is mounting to suggest that middle class parents have found a new way to help their children get ahead in an increasingly competitive world.

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Men on diets demand to know when the potato ‘stopped being a vegetable’

Frustrated males shamed into embracing a healthy regime have been outraged to discover that starchy, tuberous crops are not the route to a six-pack, female approval and eternal life as had been previously suggested.

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Sir Stuart Rose launches ‘Simply NHS’ food range

'Every little helps... Er, no, that's not right.'Under the watchful eye of former Marks & Spencer boss, Sir Stuart Rose, the National Health Service is to offer a range of ‘everyday food products’ and ‘must-have kitchen ingredients’ salvaged from clinical waste bins.

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Dyslexic child ‘was stupid as well’

School Boy‘He’s just dim,’ said Dr Janice Trenter. ‘Someone has to be.’

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Lung cancer still looks ‘way cool’, say scientists

exclusive club, but always open to new membersScientists and ‘guys with leather jackets’ have hailed the number of smokers across the world reaching the one billion mark as a ringing endorsement of nicotine, pulmonary disease, Dot Cotton and everyone who has appeared in a French film ever.

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