HealthBiscuit
Holidaymakers returning to the UK are to be given a scientifically advanced ‘coin toss’ test to decide whether they should go into quarantine for Covid. This follows the revelation that only one in twenty of the PCR tests that international travellers must take are properly checked using genome sequencing to uncover dangerous Covid variants. [read...]
The Witch King of Angmar, Lord of the Nazgul, has been condemned by Lugburz Grishnakh – leader of the Orc Federation as “Useless and not representing the interests of our members” Mr Grishnakh, representing orc and cave troll rank and file said “He has lost the confidence of the federation. [read...]
The UK has informed the world that it’s now closed, and Downing Street has hung up a handwritten ‘Closed – Back in Five Weeks’ sign in the shop window. Everything is shut, including the nations favourite workplaces such as hospitals, [read...]
Following the lead of countless stars of light entertainment down the years, from Morecambe and Wise to Bruce Forsyth, Professor Chris Whitty and Sir Patrick Vallance have left the BBC and signed a lucrative deal to host a new Saturday night prime-time entertain show for ITV. [read...]
The contract to tackle the “colossal backlog” of non-urgent operations that has built up due to the COVID-19 pandemic is to be handed to independent alternative health practitioners including homoeopathists, chiropractors, astrologists and “anyone with a sharp enough knife who wants to have a go” according to NHS spokesman Gerrard Williams. [read...]
