HealthBiscuit
Scientists have warned today that the recent rise in COVID-19 infection rate means Britain could soon be facing months of interminable Downing Street coronavirus briefings in the near future. It’s understood that secret plans were put in place several weeks ago to recommence the daily briefings, [read...]
The current logjams in COVID-19 testing capacity in the UK will be resolved within days, Health Secretary Matt Hancock has announced, with the use of an world beating new algorithm. ‘Instead of having to refresh the DHCS webpage every minute for three days, [read...]
Through a diet of Peter Mandelson and regular exercise – running from his socialist principles – Labour’s deputy leader has revealed he is clear of all leftist tendencies. A slim-line Mr. Watson told reporters never again would he succumb to starchy trade unions or refined nationalization [read...]
Health service chiefs are celebrating A&E waiting times hitting target for the first time since the Crimea war, due to an impressive pincer strategy of requiring all attendees to ring NHS 111 before admission, while simultaneously deploying rogue software to block the digit 1 on all telephone keypads. [read...]
Slashing nearly ten thousand Covid deaths with the stroke of a pen, Health Minister Matt Hancock is sure he can beat Coronavirus just by measuring deaths differently. [read...]
