NewsBiscuit

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HealthBiscuit

Pensioners helpfully reminded ‘your days are numbered’

Pensions Minister Steve Webb has proposed that all of the UK’s OAPs should be given a stark reality check in terms of life expectancy.
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Middle class parents turn to plastic surgery to sharpen elbows

all about giving the kids a decent kick startEvidence is mounting to suggest that middle class parents have found a new way to help their children get ahead in an increasingly competitive world.

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Men on diets demand to know when the potato ‘stopped being a vegetable’

Frustrated males shamed into embracing a healthy regime have been outraged to discover that starchy, tuberous crops are not the route to a six-pack, female approval and eternal life as had been previously suggested.

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Sir Stuart Rose launches ‘Simply NHS’ food range

'Every little helps... Er, no, that's not right.'Under the watchful eye of former Marks & Spencer boss, Sir Stuart Rose, the National Health Service is to offer a range of ‘everyday food products’ and ‘must-have kitchen ingredients’ salvaged from clinical waste bins.

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Dyslexic child ‘was stupid as well’

School Boy‘He’s just dim,’ said Dr Janice Trenter. ‘Someone has to be.’

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