NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

LifeBiscuit

Horse ‘self-identifies’ as America’s first unicorn

belief is everythingA horse from Spokane, Washington has become America’s first ever unicorn, after ‘self identifying’ as the mythical horned creature. Local officials decided to recognize the animal’s new legal status after it changed its name to Chestnut Rainbow Hooves, much to the delight of local residents. ‘All my life I have felt like a unicorn trapped inside a horse’s body, but finally I am free. I hope my decision will encourage others to come out and embrace their true-selves,’ she said.

Read more >



Channel 4 criticised for new documentary, ‘Friends-With-Benefits Street’

a community that's truly come togetherChannel 4 faced criticism today for its latest contribution to social debate, Friends-With-Benefits Street, a fly-on-the-wall documentary capturing the comings and goings among residents on Britain’s most promiscuous street.

Read more >



Polls fooled by ‘secret shame’ of Tory electorate

They'll be getting married to each other next!After Election night when the country awoke to realise that, in their midst, many may have been living a lie but had finally found a pride in who they really are, Tory voters have been welcomed into the folds of the LBGT community like ‘one of their own’.

Read more >



Boutique hotel wins a style over substance award for its impractical bathrooms

A trendy London hotel has won a prestigious award for the innovative design of its very pretty but utterly useless bathrooms. Described by judges as ‘a superb combination of good looks and frustrating lack of usefulness’, the Eighty Four Hotel in fashionable Bethnal Green has been awarded The Kelly Brook Prize for Beauty Without Function.

‘We are very proud to receive this recognition of our efforts to make our hotel look impressive on-line’ said the hotel proprietor, Mr Theo Whitehall. ‘Even if it is at the expense of our guests’ comfort and convenience.’

Read more >



Cynic finds soulmate in over-friendly chain restaurant waiter

had an enormous pepper mill as wellA middle-aged man, who until yesterday had taken every aspect of modern-day customer service with a bulldozer of salt, has admitted he was wrong after finding eternal friendship with an over-friendly chain restaurant waiter.

During a rare evening meal out with his wife at Pasta Pasta in Dorking, Surrey, 42-year-old Ed Geller abandoned his trademark cynicism and instead engaged 22-year-old Marek from Slovakia in the inane, awkward chit chat his boss’s bosses force him to make with customers. ‘I don’t know what came over me,’ said Geller, who normally has to suppress the urge to deck staff who squeeze enquiries about his health and immediate plans into the morning black Americano routine.

Read more >