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Child still has unopened Easter Eggs
In a miracle worthy of Jesus himself, 9 year old Simon Johnson of Milton Keynes still has 5 unopened Easter Eggs.
dominic_mcg
7 minutes ago


Dark side of the moon “a bit disappointing, to be honest”
An astronaut on the Artemis II mission has caused upset by saying that the dark side of the moon was “a bit disappointing, to be honest”.
eppursimuove
2 hours ago


Venomous reptile on plane just Suella returning from Rwanda
A very scary cold-blooded creature discovered on an aeroplane flying over Africa turned out to be the Home Secretary, Suella Braverman. It is thought that the slithering serpent boarded the plane in Rwanda and thankfully disembarked without sinking those vicious fangs into anyone aboard the flight. The pilot was dismissive of claims that he was a hero, however. ‘I just tried to keep calm and make sure everyone got off that plane safely’, he said . ‘I have no idea what I’d ha
Midfield Diamond
2 hours ago


Lockjaw
6 hours ago


The Trump Truth Book of Wars I Totally Would Have Won
At Custer's Last Stand, General Custer was totally surrounded. Surrounded like you'd never believe. He still could have won if he had been me - a very stable military genius. But he was a total loser and a libtard traitor for being defeated by the Sioux and he deserved to die.
Personally, I would have Sioux-ed them for all they were worth.
Jeremynh
6 hours ago


Queen Elizabeth II shocked to find anybody in family has a brain
Celebrity quiz champion and The Chase star Anne Hegerty is said to be shocked after discovering she is a distant relative of Queen Elizabeth II. However, the Queen was even more startled than Hegerty to discover that someone connected to the Royal family could have a brain. Hegerty came across the unlikely Royal connection during preliminary investigations by researchers for ITV's "DNA Journey.' The quiz genius found out she is the 19th cousin of Queen Elizabeth II. It had p
Gerontius
14 hours ago


Caption Competition: Friday 10th April
The Comments Section is currently closed. Please wend your way to Facebook https://www.facebook.com/NewsBiscuit to enter. The closing date for the competition will be Friday night or when our Editor 'gets their arse into gear'. The winner will be selected in a frustratingly arbitrary and capricious way. The Judge’s verdict is final and has probably been influenced by bribery. Late entries will be late. The winning caption will be posted and preserved on Newsbiscuit, with the
Kit Caboodle
15 hours ago
rowly
1 day ago


Walter Reed hospital asked to step up
With injured US servicemen and women on the uptick Walter Reed has had to increase its workload, but the focus on the hospital is currently centred on just one patient. 'We can confirm the President is in attendance for his weekly annual check-up, and his fortnightly one-off colouring test,' said a spokesman for Walter Reed today. 'Nothing to be concerned about, we carry out these routine checks routinely on some Presidents. This President specifically, but we had contingen
Throngsman
1 day ago
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