UK-Biscuit
The Sussexes have been told that they must relinquish their HRH titles, their season tickets to Crawley Town FC and any duty-frees from last two years. They can no longer partake of swan meat, panda cutlets or nibble on the ear of Nicholas Witchell. [read...]
Network Rail today warned workmen intending to take part in this weekend’s engineering works that they should expect disruption thanks to what they’re terming ‘unavoidable travel plans’. ‘We recognise that this will be a huge disappointment to many of our engineers and ancillary staff, [read...]
Labour leadership hopeful and part-time Franco-file, Lisa Nandy, suggested that the best way to deal with Scottish Independence was riot shields and prison-size portions of escudellla. Responding to an interview question, Nandy said she favoured the Catalonia-model; [read...]
Event organisers of the Brexit Day celebrations, which is to take place in London’s Parliament Square on 31 January, have stipulated that only proper British food and good old British entertainment be allowed. Specially trained garlic sniffer dogs and politically incorrect gammon squads will be present to ensure that anything Johnny foreigner has introduced into… [read...]
The Department of Words and Phrases has issued a warning that following the recent crisis in the Royal Family, stocks of servile grovelling and gushing drivel are running dangerously low and are now all but totally depleted. [read...]
