A senior manager at MI6 has been sacked for spending the majority of his working day standing looking out of the window in a wistful manner. The man known only as ‘B’ is believed to have angered security chiefs by allowing vast amounts of important paperwork and emails to build up while the air in his office hung heavy with a vague feeling of regret and loss.
In the aftermath of Alex Salmond shouting Alistair Darling into submission, the remaining parts of the British Isles have resigned themselves to the fact that its time ‘to move on’ and start seeing other countries.
New research by the Home Office suggests that Islamic State militants’ attempts to found a Caliphate in northern Iraq is being backed up by hundreds of British volunteers unable to get a foothold in Britain’s spiralling housing or rental market.
Two members of the Bank of England’s Monetary Policy Committee who favoured an interest rate rise have been eaten alive by a school of piranhas on the whim of Bank of England Governor Mark Carney, while shocked members of the committee looked on.