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‘Manspread’ to replace butter

The online Oxford dictionary has added the act of ‘manspreading’ as a low-fat alternative to ‘moisturising your toast’.

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‘Dismaland’ does not start as soon as you leave the M5, insist tourist board

Officials from the Weston-Super-Mare tourist board have advised visitors heading to the town that Banksy’s dystopian nightmare bemusement park does not start ‘as soon as you leave Junction 21 on the M5 motorway’.

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Tories plan Krypton Factor death course for young unemployed

The government has denied that it is punishing the young with its ‘Punishing the Young’ unemployment strategy.

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Cover design only obstacle to publishing Iraq report, claims Chilcot

Sir John Chilcot, who has come under intense pressure recently to publish the results of his enquiry into the Iraq war, today claimed that choosing a nice design for the cover was the reason for the delay.

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Government to relaunch Dad’s Army to repel asylum seekers

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond has today revealed plans to reform the Home Guard, originally set up during the Second World War as a last line of defence against a Nazi invasion, to prevent swarms of asylum seekers from invading the home counties.

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