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An announcement today from the beleaguered Prince Andrew in that he will host a tell-all podcast called 'Stripped' where he will bear all in regard to his troubled history. He will be referred to in the podcast as Andy Windsor and will adopt a posh, shock-jock style. 'Yah, I'm really going to go there,' he said in a video announcement. 'I'm going to blow the lid of all the scandals that have been falsely pinned on me; we'll discuss all the things that keep us up at night, l

A new study has shown that 53% of UK adults believe the crumbs which fall into their toaster simply disappear without a trace. 'It’s like...

Our in house artist has provided this image of Postman Pat's cat and a crosshead screwdriver. Recent calls for the resignation of Jess Phillips have drowned out past calls for her resignation and a general sense of déjà vu. It's not so much that she needs sacking, it's just that her being a Minister is so damn weird. Said one voter,  'Do we need a reason to get rid of her? Oh, okay. How about -  because she is a hypocritical performative narcissist. No? You want more? H

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With Daylight Saving Time coming to an end on Saturday, insomniacs up and down the country are looking forward to another hour lying awake in bed staring at the ceiling. 'I count sheep,' said Dave, a lifelong insomniac.  'I average about one sheep a second and in a normal night I count a flock of thirty-two thousand, four-hundred sheep.  When the clocks go back, the flock swells to thirty-six thousand sheep,' he said.  'When I get up, I imagine letting the flock escape to new

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The four-man gang who carried out the daring daylight raid on the Louvre say that, although the seven-minutes it took is a personal best, they are now aiming to shave at least one, two or even three minutes from their next job. Gang member Gaston Leroi, not his real name, posted on social media: 'The sub-four-minute heist has long been the goal of museum and gallery thieves, ever since Roger Bannister broke the four-minute barrier in Oxford in 1954 with three stolen textbooks

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Pressure is mounting on companies to offer employees' green leave' when they acquire a new house plant. William Smith has led the...

Tory computer nerds thought they had scored a major PR victory over Labour when they hacked the geolocation service ‘What Three Words’. Unfortunately, no-one noticed. The correct What Three Words location for the Liverpool conference centre is  square.jacked.slammed , which is already slightly amusing. The Tory hackers were able to change the descriptors regularly throughout the Labour conference. On the first day, the location was given as last.chance.saloon , which was l

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Betfred are willing to dispose of thousands of innocent employees if the government fails to drop their massive, unrealistic, excessive tax on their massive, unrealistic, excessive profits. The terrorist leader, billionaire owner Fred, made demands on a news broadcast, saying they would have to get rid of the 7,500 hostages if the government implements their proposed gambling tax. 'We will 'retire' a hostage, every hour, on the hour, until our requirements are met. Once the