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Trump denies Dolly Parton tribute is more about himself

Writer: Chipchase
Chipchase
Aug 26

Donald Trump moved quickly tonight to deny accusations that his tribute to Dolly Parton is motivated more by attempting to make himself look good rather than any real sense of sadness or grief.


Speaking to reporters at the White House, and wearing a Taylor Swift t-shirt and Clash beanie hat the bonkers buffoon said:


‘I think Dolly was great a great lady. So many songs she’s left behind as her legacy. Just so many. Who can forget tunes like “She loves you,” and “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere”? And what about that time she turned herself into a sheep and lived in a tank of bleach in London. All in the name of research against Covid? China... Chi...nah! Sleepy Joe Biden...”


Trump was hastily led from the room by his nurse while singing Enter Sandman, complaining about a nasty smell and doing a dad dance version of the robot.


image from pixabay


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Wimbledon tennis umpire to release album of Barry White hits

Writer: rogt
rogt
Jul 6

Wimbledon umpire Kader Nouni, whose velvet tones of “Fifteen lurve”, “Forty lurve” are a much-lurved part of the tennis tournament, is to release an album of Barry White covers. “People have been calling me the Barry White of tennis for years, so pourqoi pas” said the tennis veteran who was born to Algerian-French parents. “I like a great many of the singer’s hits, particularly all those which mention the word ‘lurve’”.


The album is set for release in the second week of the tournament, so get ready for ‘Don’t go changing to try and please me, Don’t go changing the way you serve…’ and plenty of ‘Can’t get enough of your lurve, Babe’ and ‘You’re the first, the last, my every tie break’.


Serena and Venus Williams have agreed to provide backing vocals while newcomer to the world of tennis, one Taylor Swift, is to join Nouni in a three-month residency in Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. British players are to be employed as cleaners.


image from Grok


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