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Taylor Swift announces 12th break-up album


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Swift has built a reputation as a prolific love tourist. She puts the hopeless into hopeless romantic. Her Tinder profile has been swiped more than a stolen credit card. And she has been through more young men than an Ukrainian recruiting officer.


This will be her 12th studio break-up. It follows her record breaking tour of dating apps – wooing over 1.2 million people worldwide. This included eight nights at Wembley Arena, where she speed dated the entire UK population.


She has won 14 Grammys but won the hearts of countless Grandads. Ironically the announcement was made on her current boyfriend’s podcast: “I didn’t want him to find out this way but we are never ever getting back together.”



Anyone else starting to think 'Tariff' is a good name for a kid?


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All this talk of US tariffs has got you thinking - 'Tariff...is that a boy or a girls name?'. The more the word is used, the more it sounds like a exotic rapper or the noise posh people make when they fart.


Tariff? Yeah, Tariff could be a brand of perfume or a silk headband. Tariff is a sophisticated type of coffee or a velvety vol au vent. And who wouldn't want 20% more Tariffs.


The next Kardashian is Tariff. Taylor Swift's new album is Tariff. Tariff is a lingerie model, young enough to date Leonardo Di Caprio. Anyone for more Canadian and Mexican Tariffs? You bet!




Labour secretly supplied Harris with Taylor Swift tickets



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Keir Starmer has been forced to deny interfering in a foreign election, despite definitely interfering in a foreign election. In his defense, there were plenty of foreigners interfering with his own election, so really this is just Kama for Kamala.


Using Labour's winning strategy may not be so effective, as no one in the US cares that Harris is not Jeremy Corbyn. Plus, the Democrats have struggled to explain why Kamala Harris is cutting winter fuel allowance and now has a season ticket to Arsenal.


Hundreds of staffers have been sent to key swing states, in the hope that invading Brits will be as popular as they were 250 years ago. Said one activist: 'We hope to make Harris as popular as Starmer.' So she is going to win, right? 'That's not what I said.'


Photo by Stephen Mease on Unsplash

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