Government freebie scandal continues, as donations to Larry the cat are revealed

Following on from recent news stories regarding freebies received by the PM and other government officials, insiders at no. 10 have leaked information about gifts donated to Larry the Downing Street cat - by none other than the American singer-songwriter, Taylor Swift.

We managed to speak to Larry during a break in his busy schedule of sleeping and eating, and he told us, “When Ms Swift heard the news about the PM receiving free tickets to one of her concerts, she was quite chuffed to know she had fans in the Prime Minister’s household. As she’s a self-confessed ‘cat lady’, she decided to send me a few gifts, including a new collar, a bed and a scratching post. I don’t know why anyone would be upset by that. I needed some new gear, and if Taylor hadn’t provided them they would have had to be paid for out of government coffers, so me accepting those freebies is really saving the tax payers money.

Although I must admit, I didn’t really need the scratching post. I recently came across a portrait of Margaret Thatcher which had been taken down and left leaning up a wall in a spare room, so I’ve been keeping my claws nice and sharp on that.

“As for the PM’s freebies, I don’t think you’ll be seeing those again. I’ve already covered the trousers in cat hair, and I’ve left a small donation of my own in each of his shoes.”

image from pixabay

Hanging chads and an ear miss

The Milky Way

Vega Edition

Sunday, 8th August 2027

still only V$35,000

We lament the passing of our near neighbours of Earth. It is by fine margins that civilisations fall and worlds collapse. Not so much a democratic planet, as one ruled in part by a leader of their 'free' world, yet elected by only one nation of many.

In the Earth Year 2000, a vote recount in the State of Florida saw great debate over whether hanging, fat, and pregnant 'chads' should be counted on punched ballot cards. Dubious inconsistency in that thinking, coupled with dubious inconsistency in what amounts to a 'popular vote', allowed a candidate by the name of Bush to slip past another called Gore into the Presidency of America by the narrowest of margins. The outcome was that a 'drill it 'n pump it' mentality to their planetary rock prevailed, rather than a 'let's look after our only home' attitude.

24 Earth Years later, a bullet grazed the ear of a reckless destroyer and the fate of humans was sealed. Indeed, the disappearance of all life turned the once blue-green globe to the orange-brown ball of fire we gaze upon this night with great pity.

Such beauty lost to such ugly mismanagement. RIP, dear Earth.

Picture credit: The Milky Way, Vega Editon. And Wix AI.

Angela Rayner begins her New Era tour across the UK